Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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