Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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