ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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