So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
