i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
