if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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