To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
