ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My day in three words: secret purse cake
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
