It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
