glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
