okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
