Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize