He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
