Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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