As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
