i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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