you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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