If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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