I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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