I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
