Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
