im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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