Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize