And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
