What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
