i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
