i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
