I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
