Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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