just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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