he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
