Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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