I wish my penis had an off switch
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
