i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
