you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
