So drunk its hurt
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
