i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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