once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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