she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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