she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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