just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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