just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How does one acquire holy water?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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