I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
