Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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