u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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