I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
