OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
