Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests đ
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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