I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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