i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
