hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
