I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
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I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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