i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize