I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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