I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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