no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
