i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
