We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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