I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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