i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
