You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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