Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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